There has been a song that is clinging to me, or maybe I'm clinging to it's lyrics. It's called, "Where I Belong" by Building 429. The writer starts out by saying that sometimes he feels like he is looking in from the outside and he's breathing but is he really alive? It goes onto say, "All I know is I'm not home yet. This is not where I belong." Take this world and give me Jesus, this is not where I belong."
I can relate.
As many of you know we began homeschooling our girls in November. But we are not your typical homeschool family. You see, I work full-time. And my husband stays home. But I am the one who primarily does the schooling. So role reversal is not new for me. But getting a grip on who i am and feeling accepted by others has been challenging.
It's hard when people tell or ask me, "So you have time to homeschool even though you work?"
It's as if homeschooling and being a working mom are mutually exclusive terms. And no kidding, it isn't easy! But it can be done. So here is how we do it. It begins in the evenings after work. The kids sit down and we do the same kinds of things they do in public school. We start off with our calendar, talking about what today is (day and date), what yesterday was, and what the date will be tomorrow, etc. For Chloe, because she's still in Pre-K for a few more months, we review the alphabet, letter sounds, etc. The girls count and Emmarie skip counts too. After this "circle time" Chloe uses the iPad and practices her phonics with an app on the iPad called "Starfall". She also practices writing letters and numbers. In the meantime I have Emmarie in our "classroom" and I am teaching from the A Beka curriculum in the are of language arts, and from Math U See for mathematics. The evenings are purely instructional. So then during the day when I'm at work, I leave assignments for Emmarie to complete. She also reads the Bible to Richard and he helps her if she gets stuck. But she's doing great, and now actually prefers to read the Bible over the readers in our curriculum. I do my planning after everyone has gone to bed.
I'd love to be the kind of mom who could get up with the kids and be done with schooling by noon, get lunch ready, put up the clothes, and take the kids for an afternoon stint int the park. But that is not the way it is and I have to become contented all over again with this new role. One thing I have to remind myself of is that I did not decide to do this on my own. We prayed about it and felt it was the direction the Lord was leading us into, and we wanted to be obedient to His will.
The ultimate thing about homeschooling is trusting the Lord and doing your best. And I have to remind myself to take off the pressure I heap onto my own self! Sometimes I get really stressed out if we are not right where we should be in the curriculum. With homeschooling the only schedule is the one you make. I have to remind myself that I'm not in a school where all the teachers of a grade level are supposed to be on the same lesson on the same days or it looks bad, etc. And there is not hard starting or ending date by which you must have taught everything for the year. So we will keep going until mid July. Then i will give a break until around the middle of August. Now, most homeschoolers keep a regular school schedule, similar to the public schools. But that is one way that it is just going to be different for us since I do have to work.
So I may be looking in from the outside as far as the homeschooling community goes, and at times it is hard for me to fill those big mommy shoes the way I'd like to do. And this inner conflict really upsets me at times, but I am committed to excellence in teaching my kids and serving the Lord. No, I'm far far far from perfect. I mess up at times and everyone can see my frustration. That is jus the area I'm growing in .... as I had shared in my last post. But please don't judge based on how it seems or what it looks like on the outside. Because on the inside, there is a mom who loves these two little blessings God has given me. There is a woman inside who is eager to be a mom standing beside my husband in full-time ministry. The Lord has given us the vision for our ministry, pastors of a church! Imagine that! Sounds crazy to me, too, right now! This world is NOT what I call home and I just want to run my course with perseverance, to press on toward the high calling of Christ Jesus, as according to Paul in the Bible, so help me Jesus!
I appreciate your prayers!
I can relate.
As many of you know we began homeschooling our girls in November. But we are not your typical homeschool family. You see, I work full-time. And my husband stays home. But I am the one who primarily does the schooling. So role reversal is not new for me. But getting a grip on who i am and feeling accepted by others has been challenging.
It's hard when people tell or ask me, "So you have time to homeschool even though you work?"
It's as if homeschooling and being a working mom are mutually exclusive terms. And no kidding, it isn't easy! But it can be done. So here is how we do it. It begins in the evenings after work. The kids sit down and we do the same kinds of things they do in public school. We start off with our calendar, talking about what today is (day and date), what yesterday was, and what the date will be tomorrow, etc. For Chloe, because she's still in Pre-K for a few more months, we review the alphabet, letter sounds, etc. The girls count and Emmarie skip counts too. After this "circle time" Chloe uses the iPad and practices her phonics with an app on the iPad called "Starfall". She also practices writing letters and numbers. In the meantime I have Emmarie in our "classroom" and I am teaching from the A Beka curriculum in the are of language arts, and from Math U See for mathematics. The evenings are purely instructional. So then during the day when I'm at work, I leave assignments for Emmarie to complete. She also reads the Bible to Richard and he helps her if she gets stuck. But she's doing great, and now actually prefers to read the Bible over the readers in our curriculum. I do my planning after everyone has gone to bed.
I'd love to be the kind of mom who could get up with the kids and be done with schooling by noon, get lunch ready, put up the clothes, and take the kids for an afternoon stint int the park. But that is not the way it is and I have to become contented all over again with this new role. One thing I have to remind myself of is that I did not decide to do this on my own. We prayed about it and felt it was the direction the Lord was leading us into, and we wanted to be obedient to His will.
The ultimate thing about homeschooling is trusting the Lord and doing your best. And I have to remind myself to take off the pressure I heap onto my own self! Sometimes I get really stressed out if we are not right where we should be in the curriculum. With homeschooling the only schedule is the one you make. I have to remind myself that I'm not in a school where all the teachers of a grade level are supposed to be on the same lesson on the same days or it looks bad, etc. And there is not hard starting or ending date by which you must have taught everything for the year. So we will keep going until mid July. Then i will give a break until around the middle of August. Now, most homeschoolers keep a regular school schedule, similar to the public schools. But that is one way that it is just going to be different for us since I do have to work.
So I may be looking in from the outside as far as the homeschooling community goes, and at times it is hard for me to fill those big mommy shoes the way I'd like to do. And this inner conflict really upsets me at times, but I am committed to excellence in teaching my kids and serving the Lord. No, I'm far far far from perfect. I mess up at times and everyone can see my frustration. That is jus the area I'm growing in .... as I had shared in my last post. But please don't judge based on how it seems or what it looks like on the outside. Because on the inside, there is a mom who loves these two little blessings God has given me. There is a woman inside who is eager to be a mom standing beside my husband in full-time ministry. The Lord has given us the vision for our ministry, pastors of a church! Imagine that! Sounds crazy to me, too, right now! This world is NOT what I call home and I just want to run my course with perseverance, to press on toward the high calling of Christ Jesus, as according to Paul in the Bible, so help me Jesus!
I appreciate your prayers!
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