Embrace the Call of Mother

A few years back when the girls were toddlers, a pastor's wife told me to "embrace the call of mother." At this time this was a particularly challenging call because I needed ministering to so badly.  During church services I would feel frustrated that I could not really get into the worship or attend to the preaching of the Word, because I was distracted and needing to tend to the kids, keep them quiet, occupied, etc.   The presence of the Lord is something that can't be compared to anything else and I just wanted to be caught up in His presence, but couldn't seem to go there in worship.  So there was this constant struggle.  The underlying problem of course, was NOT the kids!  Rather, it was me relying on church time to spend time with the Lord instead of setting time aside in my daily routines.  I was spending so much time on laundry and tidying up the house, graduate studies, and work that I was leaving no time for nurturing my relationship with God. My days were full of so many things but void of time with Him. At one point I remember almost giving up that I would ever be back where I used to be with my faith before the kids came along.

 One day a friend told me about a worship conference she had been to at International House of Prayer www.ihop.org and that the sessions were recorded online.  I pulled up the site and the first session I listened to was Mike Bickle teaching on how to have an effective prayer life.  He talked about how sometimes we have a wrong paradigm of God and that we need to understand and believe that the Lord delights in us, He loves it when His children talk to Him.  I also found a link to their 24/7 Prayer and Worship (live) which can be streamed on i-device.  So I started listening each night as I worked on my studies.  Sometimes I would stop and just worship and pray as the Spirit moved me to do so.
These times were so refreshing! And I then found it easier to embrace the call of mother, even in church!

All of a sudden I did not have to rely on the worship team at church to lead me into a great time of worship.  I was having great worship right in my home office! Tending to the kids in church wasn't so frustrating anymore, and I felt better about myself as a mom.

Take time each day to get into the presence of the Lord, even if only for a few minutes.
It's like the song goes, "Better is one day in Your courts, better is one day in Your house, better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere!" When you do this you will find that it is much easier to embrace the call of mother and when challenges come you will feel more confident in coping with them.

Blessings!

When It's Too Hot to Play Outside!

My first option is the swimming pool.  But since I work full-time the kids don't get to go except on the weekends.  Here are some ideas we use when the pool is not an option:

Get the outdoor playing done EARLY in the morning before it is too hot... around 8:30-9:00 is a good time to go out.

Fun Foam Shape Stickers: A bucket of those fun foam "Cool Shapes" will occupy little hands and minds for a while. Let them decorate sheets of fun foam or just plain paper.

Of curse there are non-violent video games and Christian movies, etc. 

Read books with your kids.  Have older kids read a story that a younger children.

Play with blocks or tiles such as the Mag Fun tiles or Block It for Discovery Toys www.discoverytoyslink.com/dadams

Kids can act out a Bible story.
 
Our kids are still young (ages 5 and 7) and we still insist they have a rest period.
This used to be called "nap".  We have them get on their beds and "rest".  No talking.  Sometimes they really do end up taking a  nap for 1/2 hour or so.  I even read that doing this helps them sleep better at night.... and so far it has proven true!

Also Chores.... let the kids help you around the house. Post a list of each child's chores... (a picture schedule is great if they are not old enough to read yet)  Give them a quarter or some other token system at the end of the day when they finish all their chores. 


Good snacks:
Carrot sticks / Ranch Dressing
 Fresh Fruit
Honey Grahams with a little Nutella or peanut butter
Jello with or w/o fruit


 What are your summer fun - too hot to play out - ideas?

Late Night Hot Tub Encounters!

God keeps opening doors.... tonight I decided to walk though it, reluctantly, but steadily.

I'm at an Assistive Technology conference in Houston and the patio to my hotel room opens up to the pool area.  So about 11 when the crowd died down I decided to go for a short swim and enjoy some time in the hot tub, return to my room and finish my assignments for this week.  But God had another plan!
As soon as I put down my towel and room key, two ladies offered a beer to me. It was easy to politely decline their offer.  One lady very clearly asked me, "Why not, you got some kind of restriction or something?" I smiled and explained (not wanting to really "get into it" that it was a self-imposed restriction. She said she wanted to learn more about that XXXX!!
About that time her friend suggested I get in the hot tub.  So I told her I would, but I needed to get a short swim workout in. So I did that and went to the hot tub. Both of them came over and got in the hot tub with me, and again offered me a beer! I kindly declined the offer again.  And she persisted with, "Ok you gotta tell me more about this." So it begins.

I explained that it had a lot to do with my life experience.  I shared a brief version of my mother using drugs and giving me away at 3 weeks of age. I also shared that I have a very "addictive" tendencies.  No matter what I like or love, I can't get enough of it.  I shared with her my experiences in college and how I saw my friends (and I) drinking and making poor choices at times. I also told her that it wasn't so much my personality that was the reason for me deciding not to drink. But that when I was drinking in college, I knew I wasn't being true.  I explained that it was a commitment I made when I was 12 to follow Jesus Christ. This poor lady was feeling pretty free and happy, and Im sure she was quite intoxicated.  But I felt the presence of God all over me! So the next thing she says is, "so you think that if you take a drink of this beer you are going to die or something because...." I told her that it wasn't like that... and that... that this thing I have with God is not like a religion, but a relationship.  And that I love Him and just like any good relationship, and I didn't want to disappoint Him.  Well it did not stop there.
She asked me about my eyes and told me that one day I'd have a husband who would tease me about having a wandering eye...! LOL! I had to laugh and this was good for us to laugh together.  She went on for a couple of minutes about the husband I'd have one day.... oh gee! So when she took a pause, I told her that I am married and have been for 13 years and that we had 2 kids.

So then, it really gets spicy, saucy, or whatever!

I don't know how we went from talking about not drinking, a relationship with Jesus Christ, to sex, but we did!  So the other lady who has been very quiet up to this point, asks me if I have ever had sex with anyone else besides my husband. And the answer is, no, only with my husband.

So the first lady kinda starts getting a little louder at this point!  She begins to tell me that I am wrong, that she feel sorry for me that I have not had more men.  She even asks me what if I find out Richard has been unfaithful, and that I realized I had "wasted" all those years with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tried to tell her that I would hope and pray that if that were to happen that God would give me the grace and the strength to handle it, but I did not get that chance.  She proceeded to explain that I have been very successful in my life wit ha husband and two kids and so I had done my duty!!! And asked me why did I think I needed God?
To this I told her that God has been very good to me, I could have just died as a baby, etc. I was interrupted at that point.... with
her story of how her mom had aborted several babies before she was born. I told her she was a miracle. But all she said was that her mom was a fertile "BXXXX." I again told her she was a miracle. I was about to tell her that God had a plan for her life and the He loves her.  But then some guys came and got in the pool... and she started hitting on the first lady.  That lady left the tub as they did not know each other at all!!!  The men came with more beer and the language was getting reeeaaalllly bad.... and the bubbles turned off in the hot tub.  I offered to go turn them on (and did) but at the same time decided to excuse myself.  I said my goodbyes and wished them a "blessed" evening!

I went over to get my towel and room key. But they were gone.  I searched around for a few minutes and found the key on the ground a little ways from the chair I had put it on..... about that time the lady who had left came up and opened the pool gate for me.  She smiled at me and said she hoped I had a great life.... I smiled back and wished her the same.

She was the quiet one in the tub but I could tell she was listening, doubting maybe, but wanting to believe.

I got to my room and was excited that the Lord had given me the boldness to share my faith, to stand even when the one lady was basically telling me I was wrong, felt sorry for me, etc... But on the other hand I was thinking that I did not get to the point to where I could actually tell them that they can have this same relationship with Jesus, etc....

I do know I believe I spoke the words given to me... and I'm broken for these ladies. One seemed pretty sure that she was just fine, the other, maybe not so sure - now, now that she had heard my testimony. I'm not sure if this encounter was for one, the other, or both of them, or just to strengthen my faith. But I am exceedingly joyful and yet concerned for their souls. 

The Brevity of Time

As I sit here and grieve the loss of a dear friend and colleague and watch another one fighting a long uphill battle against cancer, I am reminded of the brevity of time.
There are very few guarantees in this life. And time is not one of those guarantees.  What do you mean?
The only control we really have over time is how we use it. It is an invaluable resource. Yet it is fleeting.
Think of how fast just this school year has gone. Think of how fast your children are growing right in front of your very eyes.  Where has the time gone? There are things like our jobs, paying bills, etc. that demand our time. And we have to yield it.  But there are other ways we spend our time that are not productive or bear much worth in the grand scheme of things.  While in a meeting the other day, people were making plans for this to happen, that to happen, etc.  Everyone felt like their project was so important. And no doubt some great things will come as a result of our planning, hopefully things that will benefit teaches and students greatly.  But this thought kept coming to me. And it was this, "When it is all said and done, the only thing that remains (and is worthy) is what we did in our lives to bring glory to God and to impact souls for eternity."

That is a very sobering thought to me and one of conviction, to be honest.  The bottom line is this: WE HAVE NO GUARANTEE OF TOMORROW.  Our time is SHORT.  You may think you have many more years to live. But the fact is, WE don't know that! All we really have is the present - right now! Not to be gloomy but all of us are only one car wreck, one aneurysm, one tragedy away from the end of our time here on this earth. The devil is not playing games.  He wants all of us to think we have plenty of time.  But that is a trap!

IF you are reading this and you are my friend whom I've known in person, spent time with, etc. and I have not told you that JESUS died on the cross to save you, so that you wouldn't have to suffer and pay the price of your sin, then please accept my apology - BUT keep reading, PLEASE. You see, all of US have sinned (done something that isn't pleasing to God).  And even though all of us have done some great things, (taught kids who are blind, gave to the poor, or maybe you've rescued someone from drowning, or from a fire), but our works are not good enough. We live in a world that tells us there are many roads to heaven, or any road will get you there. But friend, it's just not true. There is only one way to heaven and it is through Jesus Christ.  The blood He shed on the Cross was for me and for you. And it is the ONLY thing that will wash our sins away, so that we may know where we are going when we leave this earth, and be assured that we will be with HIM for eternity!  There are only two options. Heaven or Hell.  Hell is eternal separation from God and eternal suffering.
Each of you are special, talented, and awesome! Nonetheless, I don't want any of you to be tricked into thinking that on your own you are good enough and don't need Him,  or that you have time to make a decision for the Lord. Please call or message me if you want to talk about this. I'm not judging you, just putting the situation in front of you.  I love all of you far too much to not warn you of the danger that is ahead IF you don't know Jesus as your Lord and Savior.  If you don't know Him, if you've never asked forgiveness from Him and asked Him to come into your life, into your heart, please don't continue your course without letting Jesus take the wheel, as Carrie Underwood sings.

But that's not it.... for my friends who already know the Lord, who are assured of your salvation.  That is great! Praise God.  However: our time is short, too.  We are saved, but what about our friends and family who aren't? What is going to happen to them when they are about to cross over into the other world? Will they see their fate and try with all they have to come back to change their minds about what they believed or the decisions they made about God?  The lie we are told is that we have plenty of time to witness to them.  But we don't. We never know how much time they have or how much time we have to tell them. That's why I'm writing this blog on this topic today.

I never had a conversation with my friend about his beliefs.  He was an AWESOME person and will be terribly missed! What an AMAZING, giving, talented, loving man he was!

Now, I am not one to judge any person.  And please don't take this as me judging you.  I don't judge my friend. I hope that one day I stand and look across heaven and see him over there!


When I go to heaven, i want to see ALL of you there.  I don't want to miss a single one of you : )

Please do me a favor and go to this website. After you go to the website and view the sections, then answer these questions for me:
1.  What will you do with Jesus?
2.  Are you ready to come home?

The website is: www.prodigalsonly.com

God Bless You!

Love,
Dawn

Women Ruling and Children Oppressing? Really!?

Not sure I have my head wrapped around this too well yet, but here is what's on my mind....and I welcome comments!

In a session at the Homeschool Book Fair / Convention, the speaker shared this verse (the all caps part)....

"Say to the righteous, it will be well with them, for they shall eat the fruit of their doings. Woe to the wicked! It shall be ill with him, for the reward of his hands shall be given him. AS FOR MY PEOPLE, CHILDREN ARE THEIR OPPRESSORS, AND WOMEN RULE OVER THEM. Oh My people, those who lead you cause you to err, and destroy the way of your path. " Isaiah 3: 10-12.

This passage is an excerpt from a warning about God's impending judgment on Judah and Jerusalem. But it sure seems to me that it rings true with our society today as well, at least as far as what things are looking like around us.

Nonetheless this verse has grabbed me lately and I see it as a warning to parents, both moms and dads.

Dating back to Adam and Even in the garden, the woman has tried to be the influencer, the decision-maker, the "fixer" instead of submitting to the husband's authority. In today's world of corporate demands, the lure of power and position,  and even in social science fields such as education, we see an increase of women in leadership roles. And BTW,
I don't know about you but one of the things I dislike most is being in a department meeting
with a few particular women who seem to have a need to be in control (and I'm NOT talking    
about my boss - she is very humble, actually!) and tell others, who they feel are inferior to
themselves,  what to do or not to do, etc.
But where are the children in all of this? At day care centers or public schools, etc.  Now, before you think I'm a complete hypocrite, I do know these arrangements are necessary in some cases, but not all. So that is the part about the women ruling over them...

I've actually heard of fathers who said that their children were a drain or a drag! Their reasons for this are that the children are so costly and the fathers can't put money back for this or that... I have even heard people admit that they would rather have fine clothes and jewelery than to have kids, and that you have to choose one or the other!! So this is the part about the children being their oppressors.

But the Bible also says that children are a BLESSING from the Lord! So it is only when society has a culture of disobedience or wickedness that these judgments can come into play.

Where do you think we are in America today? Does this ring true to you?

Granted, some moms have no choice but to work and that is the way they can provide for their children, and that is acceptable.  But another factor to women rising to power and being oppressed by the children IS that thing of materialism, and prestige in the workplace to the extent that women are finding their honor or identity in their career instead of in who they are in God. Let me be so bold as to say that if a husband can work and provide for the basic needs of his family (food, clothing, shelter, transportation) the woman's place is at home with the children, teaching and training the children up in the way they should go. But too often we (including myself) are not content with the basics, or having "enough." We want to keep up with Jones', so to speak.

If I had it to do over again, I would not get caught up in the things this world has to offer! I'd keep have Richard for my husband, even though he is unable to work, but I would be more content to have "enough" and not strive to have "more." That saying, "less is more" is so true in many ways! And let's face it. "Stuff" and positions bring lots of stress with them.  If you have lots of stuff, you have to take care of it, store it, etc. And if you have a prestigious position at work, you have to often fight to keep it, or in many cases, at the very least you have to devote more time to your job.

There are days that I stay home from work just because I want to be a mom.  My kids ask me every morning if I really have to go to work... and that it is just so hard, knowing they are still too young to understand. I often think of the things I'm missing with the kids (those little moments, expressions, etc) while I'm away at work, yet be happy for the time I do have with them.

 So while I don't have any real solutions to this dilemma, I can say that I will work with my children to help them understand what God's design for a woman is, the calling of woman, of mom, of wife.
Another thing we do with our daughters is pray that God is now preparing the man they will one day marry.  We pray that he will be saved at an early age and love the Lord, and that God would bring them together in due season.  And most of all, that they WAIT for that right person, and they will know it because God will show them!  By this maybe my husband and I can begin impacting the next generation not to be ruled over by women and be oppressed by children, but instead to realize the blessings of children!

Now, I don't think all women everywhere should quit their jobs tomorrow. I'm not quitting mine! I can't.  I do encourage you to take time off when you can and just be "mom".  Last summer I was really dreading summer because all my friends (other moms) were off for the summer to go do fun things with their kids and get caught up on household tasks.  Not me. I'd be working all summer long.  So one of them pulled me aside and suggested I talk to my boss about working less days this year.  So I did.  I was expecting a huge pay cut.  But I reduced my days from 223 days to 215. That gave me another 8 days in the year to be with my kids and feel more like a "real" mom and wife. There was a slight decrease in pay, and at times it has been a little difficult, but God has provided our needs and I have no regrets. In fact, I plan to reduce my days a little bit each year until I'm only working the minimum days required of my position.  So I encourage you to take steps to have more time as a family, to devote to mothering, to serving your husband and the Lord, or the Lord and your kids if you are a single mom.  When children are young it is time to "embrace the call of mother" as my Pastor's wife says. And I don't know yet about older kids and all, but I can't help but think that preteens and teens REALLY need a strong mother and father figure to look up to! 

Children are a BLESSING and to the largest extent possible, they need their mothers to guide, nurture, and prepare them for life.  We don't want our path (as designed by God) to be destroyed!

Love and Blessings to You All : )
Dawn

Conflicting Roles: Finding My Place

     There has been a song that is clinging to me, or maybe I'm clinging to it's lyrics.  It's called, "Where I Belong" by Building 429.  The writer starts out by saying that sometimes he feels like he is looking in from the outside and he's breathing but is he really alive? It goes onto say, "All I know is I'm not home yet. This is not where I belong." Take this world and give me Jesus, this is not where I belong."
I can relate.

As many of you know we began homeschooling our girls in November. But we are not your typical homeschool family.  You see, I work full-time.  And my husband stays home. But I am the one who primarily does the schooling.  So role reversal is not new for me.  But getting a grip on who i am and feeling accepted by others has been challenging.

It's hard when people tell or ask me, "So you have time to homeschool even though you work?"
It's as if homeschooling and being a working mom are mutually exclusive terms. And no kidding, it isn't easy! But it can be done.  So here is how we do it.  It begins in the evenings after work.  The kids sit down and we do the same kinds of things they do in public school.  We start off with our calendar, talking about what today is (day and date), what yesterday was, and what the date will be tomorrow, etc.  For Chloe, because she's still in Pre-K for a few more months, we review the alphabet, letter sounds, etc.  The girls count and Emmarie skip counts too.  After this "circle time" Chloe uses the iPad and practices her phonics with an app on the iPad called "Starfall".  She also practices writing letters and numbers.  In the meantime I have Emmarie in our "classroom" and I am teaching from the A Beka curriculum in the are of language arts, and from Math U See for mathematics.  The evenings are purely instructional.  So then during the day when I'm at work, I leave assignments for Emmarie to complete.  She also reads the Bible to Richard and he helps her if she gets stuck.  But she's doing great, and now actually prefers to read the Bible over the readers in our curriculum. I do my planning after everyone has gone to bed.

I'd love to be the kind of mom who could get up with the kids and be done with schooling by noon, get lunch ready, put up the clothes, and take the kids for an afternoon stint int the park.  But that is not the way it is and I have to become contented all over again with this new role.  One thing I have to remind myself of is that I did not decide to do this on my own. We prayed about it and felt it was the direction the Lord was leading us into, and we wanted to be obedient to His will.

The ultimate thing about homeschooling is trusting the Lord and doing your best.  And I have to remind myself to take off the pressure I heap onto my own self! Sometimes I get really stressed out if we are not right where we should be in the curriculum. With homeschooling the only schedule is the one you make. I have to remind myself that I'm not in a school where all the teachers of a grade level are supposed to be on the same lesson on the same days or it looks bad, etc.  And there is not hard starting or ending date by which you must have taught everything for the year.  So we will keep going until mid July.  Then i will give a break until around the middle of August. Now, most homeschoolers keep a regular school schedule, similar to the public schools.  But that is one way that it is just going to be different for us since I do have to work.

So I may be looking in from the outside as far as the homeschooling community goes, and at times it is hard for me to fill those big mommy shoes the way I'd like to do.  And this inner conflict really upsets me at times, but I am committed to excellence in teaching my kids and serving the Lord. No, I'm far far far from perfect.  I mess up at times and everyone can see my frustration.  That is jus the area I'm growing in .... as I had shared in my last post.  But please don't judge based on how it seems or what it looks like on the outside. Because on the inside, there is a mom who loves these two little blessings God has given me. There is a woman inside who is eager to be a mom standing beside my husband in full-time ministry.  The Lord has given us the vision for our ministry, pastors of a church! Imagine that! Sounds crazy to me, too, right now! This world is NOT what I call home and I just want to run my course with perseverance, to press on toward the high calling of Christ Jesus, as according to Paul in the Bible, so help me Jesus!

I appreciate your prayers!

This is Love

I think this is one of the times when I'm writing to myself but it is for a greater purpose as well.

If we had any idea how deep or how wide the love of God is, it woudl radically change our lives forever! I'm talking about a God whose very defining characteristic is love.  The Bible says that God IS love!  I know that I can't say that about myself or anyone I know for that matter.  That is because we are all flawed as humans, and no matter how hard we try, we cannot love everyone unconditionally and completely.  But God does.  

This love that God has for us does not mean that He only loves us when we are "good."  Although the Scriptures tell us, "There is not one good, no not one", God loves us all the time no matter what we do, how we feel, or what our thoughts are like on a given day.  If we come to really know Him, we fill find acceptance in Him.  And He loved us so much that He had His only Son sacrificed to save us from our sin.  He did that ecause He knew that was the ONLY way any of us could ever come to know Him.  And after all, He desired and still desires to know us! He also knew that "without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness from sin." And that the only acceptable sacrifice was Jesus.  

His love for us is not a license for us to go around and act any way we want to.  No, that is a violation of His grace toward us.  But He loves us so much that He gives us grace to overcome the things that so easily beset us! In my own life, I have struggled with anger and lashing out at the very ones I love.

I still have some work to do, but I know His love and His grace are dooing a work in me to help me overcome.  Jesus overcame and we will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the Word of our testimony!  And I will testify that I am MUCH better now than I used to be, and with His help I'll "arrive." He wants all of us to walk in FREEDOM from bondages, sin, sickness, emotional problems, financial hardships, all the obove.  

Who can fathom the depth and the height of the love of God? Love that is more vast than the deepest sea, higher than the tallest mountain peak? When they stretched Him out on the cross, His dying Words were,"Father God, forgive them, for they know not what they do."  And then, "It is finished!"  What love! It has been said, and I know it is true, no one really took His life.  HE GAVE IT! 

He gave it for me and for you! 

Maybe you've had a hard life.  Maybe you've had a loved one suddenly snatched from you, were passed over for a promotion at your job, etc.  and you wonder, why? Maybe it's the Lord getting your attention. Maybe you were going down a path that would have led you to destruction.  Give your cares to the Lord, for He cares for you.  He will take the broken places of your life and make a beautiful tapestry! He alone can turn your darkness into night, your mourning into dancing, your sorrows into joy! He can give you beauty for ashes!  And you can know that when you leave this earth, that you will spend eternity with the One who loves you, the One who completes you, the one who DESIRES you! 

Oh friends, I encourge you today.  Don't wait! Make some time to talk with the Lord. If it's your first time, don't be nervous or afraid.  Just talk to Him like you would your best friend.  That's because He wants to be your best Friend! No fancy words or long prayers - unless you have a lot on your mind - He's not in a hurry.

I'm convinced that Jesus is the answer to every prolem we face in our society today.  Just think of how things would be different if He was foremost in our politics, in our finances, in our marriages, in our priorities! Ouch! The love of God knows no limits, so ask Jesus to show Himself to you.  If you have not ever done so, ask Him to forgive you of the things you have done that are not pleasing to Him.  We can't meaure our good against what we know to be good.  Our good is measured against His standards, which are MUCH higher than ours!  Ask Him to be your Savior, your Lord, and your very best friend.

Friend, He will do it! He will give you a new heart, a new mind, a renewed spirit! 

God bless you and pour out His love on you in a way that you have never before experienced! And when he does, be sure to share it with others! Let's be a light in this darkened world.  

For there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God, no height, no depth, no power, no principality... Go after Him and let Him pursue you with His amazing endless love! 

-Dawn